Snapshots

Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukah, the holidays abound. Frenzy mounts with each passing day as the clock ticks away the precious moments left to complete the many tasks I have preordained for myself. There are gifts to buy and to wrap, There are the many traditions I have yet to start, like creating a “pass it forward” chain of kindness from one neighbor to the next, the hope of homemade gifts, and carols around a piano that we do not yet own.

My mind swirls with excitement at the advent of each new Christmas season. “Oh, the things we will do….!” Inevitably, my intentions are squeezed out among the throngs of shoppers at the nearby shopping mall. I drop them one by one and hope to hang onto the precious morsels which convey the true meaning and value of my life--like watching my children in the annual Christmas Pageant at church, seeing my children hug their grandparents, or coming upon a child behind a closed door trying to wrap a homemade gift for one of her siblings.I am not there yet, but I am trying hard to accept my life for what it is. I am trying to accept my life for what I can accomplish within the parameters of my reality. Frequently, I am guided by the many pictures painted in the Ladies Home Journal, Family Circle, or other well meaning publications which focus on creating the best that life has to offer.

Within the kinetic energy of raising five children, I am learning to grab the moments when I can and frame them like cherished photographs in my memory. This past week after supper, I was so tired that I climbed into the recliner, pushed back, snuggled into a faux fur throw and fell asleep for a few moments under the glimmer of Christmas lights. I awoke to find myself alone with the others at the back of the house, so I took time to leaf through some Christmas memory books. The memories, and gratitude for my family glowed under the lights of the tree. I felt warm and knew that as simple as it was, this was going to become a snapshot memory in my mind. Another “snapshot” will be of Wyatt walking with a spruce branch flung over his back after an afternoon of tree hunting and chopping. His Santa hat was atop his head with his name facing back instead of forward. From behind , it was the perfect picture memory.

Unfortunately, we were just out of film. Instead I will commit this print to my memory. A simple thought, perhaps. But for me it frames perfectly, the afternoon I shared with my family.What are some of the snapshots you will commit to memory long after this holiday season is over? They need not be momentous events. Look for the simple joys, frame the memory, and 'click'. Your memory will last a lifetime.

Making a Life

It is said that we make a life not by what we get, but rather by what we give. This past weekend, I participated in the celebration of the life of my cousin, Mary. By definition she lived a palmarian life. (palmary is defined as outstanding or best.) Separated- it is pal and mary. In so many ways Mary was a pal to me who gave the gift of fun, laughter and joyful abandon.

Over the weekend, I had many opportunities to reflect on her life and it's relation to the lives we all live. In making a life it is good to be focused on where you are and what you are good at. I tend to flit from one opportunity to another. You've heard the phrase-'jack of all trades and master of none.' People who have focused like Mother Theresa or Billy Graham have indeed accomplished great things. Mary was good at being where she was in the moment. Even though she spent the last few years in a nursing home, she was totally present to the staff and other residents. So much so that they all benefited from her caring and compassionate personality. She didn't wish to be somewhere else, or nag or complain. She made life better for others.

While you are making a life you will be interrupted. And sometimes, it is these interruptions that make the best life experiences. Mary's life was interrupted when she needed to go to a nursing home, and yet...it became her life's work. She touched so many lives. Truly she bore fruit of the spirit. My life was interrupted when she passed on, and yet...being with family and celebrating her life will be a very meaningful memory--sad as it is.

Each life is individual. There is no other life like it. Recently I saw a sign which said, "Be Yourself....everyone else is taken." So often we look to others and the qualities we admire and think that we could have a better life if we too had those qualities. Mary was an outgoing, social person who had a way of making everyone feel special. As I perused her scrapbook, I could see that she was not a scholar, but she was a people person. Her dance card was full! I must admit as I looked at all her pictures, the joy she spread and her ease at being with others...I made such statements to myself like..."I want to be more like Mary." Yet, I realize...no one will be like Mary, but Mary. I am priviledged to love her.

Finally- it is important to live life with gratitude and be connected with our creator. I am thankful for my wonderful family who taught me the value of sharing, being there for one another, laughter and play and most importantly unconditional love.

I look to my creator and thank him for the opportunity to live such a beautifully connected life.

I especially thank him for my family and the chance through family to be a part of Mary's life.

It is full....very full.

Take this job...and honor it.

" Blessed are those whose strength is in you ,who have set their hearts on pilgrimage."

Psalm 84 1(NIV)

It had been a long week. It had been a stressful week which left me feeling that there were not enough hours in a day--not enough hours in a lifetime to manage all I felt called to do.

The alarm went off Friday morning. I shuddered as I was overwhelmed and my feet had not even touched the floor. Groggily I made my way as I followed the footprints etched in our wooden floors. First stop, bathroom, second stop, 4 scoops coffee grounds 1 pot of water- , and third stop, the computer. Everything clicked along as usual. No life shattering emails, and surprisingly my morning devotional had not yet arrived. So, I decided to check up on my blog. No comments.

Absentmindedly, I clicked the button at the top of the blog which said,-Next Blog- . To my amazement--there in black and white, it said,." "Don't complain about your job" Following this statement were an assortment of photos which showed people carrying out jobs that were less than desireable such as wading in sewage water, carrying toilets on backs, or sticking heads down overflowing sewage holes. The kicker was that the rest of the blog was in another language-that I don't know. Check it out! God has a sense of humor !http://www.oosthuysenattorneys.blogspot.com/ Then in the righthand column was the scripture Psalm 84:5-7 -also written in English.

As I meditated on this verse, it gave me pause. Have I truly set my heart upon the pilgrimage that God has set before me? Or am I more caught up in my own hidden agenda? As I pass through the valley, do I make it a place of springs(light and refuge for others)? Or do I weigh others down with my complaints and grumblings? Do I truly rely on God to provide my strength one step at a time until the day comes when I stand before him? Or do I belabor the thoughts of " I can't do all this...."?

Later that morning while helping residents to lunch after their church service, MaryAnn held a song sheet in her hand. "This little light of mine..I'm gonna let it shine..." The elevator doors closed and we sang..."this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...."

The day ended, I got as much done as I could--with God's help, and I let my light shine.

Blessings to you on the pilgrimage God has set before you.

Heaven, really?

As children, heaven brings up all sorts of fanciful thoughts-angels floating on clouds, endless dishes of hot fudge sundaes, no chores or bedtime. Yet the things of God are beyond our comprehension as St. Paul reminds us in 1Corinthians 2:9 "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind conceived what God has prepared for those who love him. (NIV)

As we grow older, sometimes we discard thoughts of heaven-partially because we don't want to think about dying and partially because it is almost too overwhelming to contemplate. Yet for believers, heaven is a reality we can look forward to. While preparing a sermon for our residents at the nursing home I work for, I chose the topic "Trusting in Heaven". I decided to search www.crosswalk.com for the word 'heaven' in the scriptures. I was amazed to find 407 entries. Yes! 407 times heaven is mentioned in the Bible. This shows how important heaven is the scheme of God's plan. It begins in Genesis 1 when we are told that God created heaven and earth. In Matthew 6:30, Jesus commands us to store up treasures in heaven. And why not..if that is ultimately where our home will be?

It will be such a drastic change from life on earth that I liken it to the Sunday evening show Extreme Home Makeover when a family often has been living such a substandard life, that volunteers come and rebuild their home. The moment comes when Ty Pennington yells, "MOVE THAT BUS!" The family is overwhelmed by the change as they've gone from hardship to extreme grandeur. I imagine that is what heaven is like--beyond our wildest imagination. "MOVE THAT CLOUD!"

Yet, as our imaginations can run wild...there is truly only one thing that will make heaven worthwhile for me. That one thing is being reunited with my creator and savior. Some years back there was a movie starring Robin Williams entitled- "What Dreams May Come". This movie tells the story of a man who ventures to the afterlife to find his wife. He goes to 'heaven' and there are beautiful colors, and the opportunity to do anything. The movie has a happy hollywood ending as this couple is reunited. But all I felt was empty. Sure it was pretty, fanciful, and ideal, yet where was my God? Where was the connection that we all truly yearn for?

Heaven? Not without my God and Savior.

Choices

This past week, I had the privilege of spending two days with my son Wyatt on an environmental field trip to Upham Woods in the Wisconsin Dells. It was a wonderful time of sharing and spending time with my youngest son.

Yet, we all know that time away like this often does not come without some price. For me the price was the anxiety that I felt upon my return of all the 'catch up' I would need to do both at home and at work. As the minutes ticked on-edging me closer to the work day ahead, the list of complaints mounted.--'there are not enough hours in the day to get it all done', why do others seem so much more relaxed?, what is wrong with me...that I can't do it all?', I was so focused on what I wasn't getting done, that I was losing the beauty of the time that I had spent in the past two days. I was missing out on the time I had in the car with two interesting teen daughters--who actually wanted to come with me--even if it was for first choice on the snack and drink items. As I drove on I recalled what Mrs. Storms, the fifth grade teacher announced the kids after breakfast. "Today is October 14th-2008. It is the only October 14th 2008 you'll ever have. Greet the day!" So there it was-the evening of October 14th 2008. The only one I'd ever get. So I chose to shrug off the 'to do list' and enjoyed the fact that I had two daughters to shop with, money to buy the groceries-along with a tub full of cookie dough, and the anticipation of fresh baked cookies and cold milk before bed.

Buried Treasure

Buried treasure...where is my treasure? Can I find it when all about me is uncertain?

Layer by layer the things of this world seem to be stripped away. In the headlines, hurricanes remove edifices that once were home to many. Babies in China trustingly suckle milk that is poison. The stocks have been caught in the undertow and upwardly mobile dreams seem to be spiraling downward.

Where then do I place my hope?

1 Timothy 4:10 "....that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the savior of all men, and especially of those who believe."

Where then do I find my happiness and peace? 1 Timothy 6:6 "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world and we can take nothing out of it."

Jesus himself said, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where rust and moth destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where rust and moth do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is your heart will be also." Mt.6:36-37

It is in times like these that we are forced to take a closer look. Where is my treasure?

If your true treasure is buried, I invite you to dust it off and take time to polish that which truly matters. Seek to lend a helping hand, put a smile on someone elses face, bake a loaf of bread for the soup kitchen, and sing a song of praise and worship. The ground beneath you will feel firmer. Your heart will beat lighter and your treasure will sparkle on the horizon.

Love Song From the Creator

Wyatt, Wywee, Wywoo...anyway you say it, we love you! He will always be my baby. Hard to believe he is 10 years old and in the fifth grade.

Perusing some snapshots I found this one of Wyatt and me.

I still remember cradling him as a baby and singing this little sing song tune I made up for him.

"It is happy for you, it is happy for me, together we make a nice family."

In fact I had a conglomeration of little tunes I made up for each of the kids as I sang them into their slumber. There was no one song fits all. Each one stirred a new song from me. I imagine that it is that way with our creator-- a song and love language that each one of us responds to in his/her own way. For me...he often communicates with license plates and other serendipitous messages that come through words and songs. I love it.

For me the number 747--has been the 'wink' I get from God at times.

I'll never forget the day, I was walking and saw a phone number on a real estate sign with '747' in the phone number. I asked him....'am I crazy to think that this number means anything to me from you?' I continued to walk on and through the parking lot...when there at the end of the lot was a white mini van...You'll never guess the license plate! 7474747. Imagine....he loves us that much to speak to us in our own language and song. Take a look around...and listen. He's singing a love song to you today.

No Longer Busy

Busy: I don’t want to be busy anymore.

At one time it was chic, the buzz word, the pat answer to the question—“How’s it going?”
“oh, you know….busy.” We smiled back that knowing smile and nodded in agreement. Yes. Isn’t it great to be successful, upwardly mobile….accomplishing so much?

Now, as I look the word ‘busy’ up in the dictionary, it tells me otherwise. Busy can be in addition to occupied:
ornate, disparate, or clashing in design or colors; cluttered with small, unharmonious details;

So, I don’t want to be busy, I want to be purposeful, organized and accomplished. I want a sense of inner peace which comes with balance. I want what Ecclesiastes 3:1-9(NIV) boasts about
-a time for everything.

· 1.
· There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
· 2.
· a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
· 3.
· a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
· 4.
· a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
· 5.
· a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
· 6.
· a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
· 7.
· a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
· 8.
· a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
· 9.
· What does the worker gain from his toil?

I can only believe that the answer to this question is the sense of satisfaction at a job well done. I can only hope that my work will make this world a better place, that someone has laughed, smiled and been given the sense of hope and knowledge that God and love do exist.
I am no longer busy. I am helping to create the kingdom of heaven and storing up for myself—treasures.

Good Day/ Bad Day-- Good Day!

Tonight-8:30ish on my way home from getting a gallon of milk, bag of chocolates , bunch bananas and bologna, I lamented being tired with so much more on my rotating list of things to do.

And then it hit me. God allows us to grow tired, so that we will finally slow down and rest.

So now, 9:30ish, I take a few moments to take stock of the last two days.

Yesterday--started low and ended high.
Today--started high and ended low.

In one of Shakespeare's plays, a character states--"nothing is good nor bad, but thinking makes it so."

In the Bible, King David laments over the ups, downs and imperfections of life in Ecclesiastes.
Basically, we work hard, have a few good times, a few bad times...and it's over.

Not too promising--except that at the end of the day, God is there for us. At the end of my life, God will be there for me, also. I may not always understand the 'whys' of happenings, but in the end, I know I am his child, that all things work for the good of those who love the him, greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world, and if God is for me who can be against me?

So, with all that on my side. I guess it was a good day after all!

Thank God for My Parents

This weekend in tradition of celebrating my mother's birthday, I went home. Traditionally my mother's birthday--for the past few years--has fallen on a weekday. This means I went alone-sans husband and kids. I had come to enjoy this time of being the only child to my parents--therefore, I selfishly chose to go alone this Friday afternoon to wake up to my mom on her birthday Saturday morning.

Along with being relaxing, I was reminded yet again--how truly lucky I am that my mom was born and chose to have me.--(along with my soulmate sis).

Those things that were taken for granted as a child--a mother who was consistent, fair and loving, a father--who has an amazing capability for invention and creating great meals from simple foods.--were brought to light. There were indeed a few moments when I had to hold back tears of great love and appreciation.

I am so proud, that my mother creates beautiful quilts out of scraps of materials. She helped to mold me into a confident, creative, and ambitious person despite my imperfections.

I am proud, that my father who always admonished--'life is what you make of it.' practices what he preaches as he squeezes so much out of each day.

The highlights of my weekend--
-Trying pickled egg plant and liking it! So much so, my father made me a batch and taught me the fine art of pressing eggplant.
-Going to Mass Sunday morning with my dad.

-Shopping with my mom at Target and being able to watch as she picked out a new jacket and scarf to accentuate her beautiful white hair.
-Visiting with an Aunt and cousin--just like old times.
-Playing 500 Rummy with mom and dad.
-Simply being loved for who I am.

About Me--My Wonderful Life

Sometimes, especially in high school, I would ponder the thought…”What if I had been born ‘normal’?” Normal to me would mean--normal hearing, normal speech, and normal facial structures… You see I was born with a syndrome named Treacher Collins.
A syndrome I knew nothing about until we were expecting our first child.

I grew up knowing I was different--somewhat like my father, yet not quite the same. I had my rationalizations for why one ear was smaller--”I slept on it too much as a baby..” As for my voice--”one day I’ll have surgery and it will all be fixed.” And with child-like faith, I would go to bed at night, saying my prayer that when I woke up, I would be healed. There was no doubt in my mind that the day would come and I would be restored to my ‘rightful’ body. After all, somehow, I knew that I was beautiful. I would be a model. There was a stage with my name on it--and didn’t everyone want to hear me sing. So there it went, the voice of God whispering my name, I was loved, and was born for something. I wasn’t sure what, but I knew it was big.

Today, I have five children. Two of whom were born with an even more severe expression of treacher collins syndrome than mine. With a fair warning, that only the Holy Spirit could give, I prayed with all my might during labor with Michaela for strength in whatever lay before me. She turned purple in my arms as the nurse whisked her away to PICU for oxygen and to be monitored. She was trached only a few days later, the Friday after Thanksgiving. To say it was a trying time, would be an understatement. It was stressful, guilt ridden and full of worry. Somehow, God pulled us through, and showered us with other material possessions to make the time easier. We had been living as a family of five without a car--now six, with so many medical appointments and special equipment to cart around, the Lord saw to it, that we had proper transportation. People were placed into our lives, doctors, social workers, nurses, and therapists. Many of whom became friends. As I look back, I can see the grace of God leading us through the maze of trials, troubles and time of new challenges.

Wyatt came along 14 months later. He is the angel/light and companion to Michaela. Wyatt, though, unexpected to us, was chosen and expected by God. I still have the little red playsuit with his name on it. Wyatt was at University Hospital receiving his trach, and other procedures to make his life easier, when a nurse presented me with a playsuit that her sister just happened to have gotten at the LandsEnd outlet store as a deal. When she heard a baby boy had arrived with the name “Wyatt” she gave it to us. For me this is a sign, that, despite his troubles, Wyatt was destined and planned for his stint here on earth.


There are moments when I wish, it could all go away. Moments, when I wonder, what we would be if there were not the physical difficulties we experience. Just this morning, Wyatt asked me. “If God made me, why would he make me have problems?”
Good rationale. How could a God who is so perfect in every way, make me--not perfect?
So, I told Wyatt, that we are born into a ‘not perfect’ world, and that problems are a part of this world. I told him, that God would use his problems for His own purpose .I also told him that his gifts are special and that God had great plans for him. Most of all, I told him that someday, he would live with God and he would be perfect in every way. This excited Wyatt most of all. “You mean, I’ll have new eyeballs, and I’ll hear and not have any holes in my stomach!?” I nodded, yes, and he ran off with great excitement.

My life is far from perfect. I have troubles, but better than that, I have good times too. There are miracles which are so much more meaningful than if I looked like a movie star or had perfect hearing and speech. He gives me the opportunity to rely more closely on him. Sure, I have an ego, and get cocky about the things I can do. But these imperfections of mine, keep my life in check. When the speech I give at toastmasters moves people, when I win 1st prize in an area humorous speech contest, or am invited to tell my story, I have to chalk it up to a wonderful, awesome God who leads me on.

Would I trade it in? Oh, its tempting…, but, nope, because someday….as I told Wyatt, I will have my rightful body. For now, I am His servant. And, you know what? It is a wonderful life.