Steps are ordered...even with...(especially with) unanswered prayers

Just this afternoon as I brought my daughter home from the YMCA, the radio played her favorite country station. We had just pulled into the garage.  I lost in my thoughts of things yet to be done, she turned to me and asked, "Do you thank God for unanswered prayers?"  Reflexively I said, "yes.".   She shrugged her shoulders and jumped from the car.  I noted the song title on the radio display..."Unanswered Prayers".  I didn't give it too much thought other than had I given it more thought, I'd have to admit that I wouldn't necessarily 'thank' him until I could see in hindsight the outcome it brought about. 

Fast forward 7 hours:  I am in bed reading a book I found at the library this afternoon.- Greater by Steven Furtick.  As I had  walked into the library I glanced at a display of new non-fiction books and saw 'Steven Furtick's' name even before the title of the book could grab my attention.  It was a name I had recently come across by means of Sandy Krakowski, an up and coming, dynamic social media marketing expert.   I picked up the book, fell in love with it almost immediately, checked it out and have stolen glances at it throughout my day until I was able to settle in for a longer look.

In chapter 8 entitled 'Trust Fund Baby', Furtick makes reference to all the prayers that go unanswered in our lives and mentions Garth Brooks' song by the same title.  This brought my 'little thought about incident ' to light and tied it all together.  In and of itself, the brief exchange between myself and daughter would not have been given all that much thought, yet in light of what I read this evening, in a book that I may not have picked up if I had not heard of the author through a social media expert who I had inadvertently discovered on Facebook, I have found myself linking the pieces to see how God uses ALL things to teach, prepare, and move us forward in the GREATER picture!

I hope I have not lost you.  I hope that you see that in your life, God wastes no event and that no prayer goes unanswered....even when we think it does.

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord; and he delighteth in his ways." Psalm 37:23 KJV

The Burden of Perfection

Are you living under the burden of perfection?

If someone were to ask me this question, most likely my answer would be 'no'. And I would begin to list all the ways that I am not perfect.  Stands to reason that if I were a perfectionist, I'd be turning out really 'great' stuff.   Yet, truth is, I am living under the burden of perfection when I consistently avoid writing in this blog because I don't have the right topic, am not overwhelmed by emotion, or the content doesn't personally wow me or knock my socks off.

 

I may not volunteer to lead songs at church even though I can carry a tune and keep on pitch--because it might not be amazing or sound like Taylor Swift.  I don't step forward to write a column for the newsletter because it sure as heck won't be pulitzer prize winning stuff. 

 

Living under the burden of perfection is not fine tuning your craft, belaboring a scrapbook and turning out top notch layouts, or decorating a cake for a friend's birthday in bakery style.  Living under the burden of perfection is being immobilized from action because you can't do it perfectly and feel that what you would turn out is unworthy.    I started this post over one year ago and never got beyond the first rhetorical question, 'Are you living under the burden of perfection?'

 

Yes, I am.   And it's high time, I focused less on doing whatever it is, perfectly and got to the business of just doing what I am called to do.  I will then be released of my burden and free to live the life God intended.

 

Ephesians 2:10  'For we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do.'

Open Hands

Open Hands

by

Carmela Mulroe

I hold my hands open in emptiness.

I hold my hands open in fullness.

********

I hold my hands open in emptiness waiting to be filled.

I hold my hands open in fullness waiting to be relieved of the heaviness I carry.

I hold my hands open:

accepting the ebb and flow of life,

the gift and grief,

the past, present, future,

and the desire to be whole.

I open my hands in acceptance of love, loss, life and death.

I open my hands in emptiness waiting to be filled.

Born This Way

Sometimes, especially in high school, I would ponder the thought…”What if I had been born ‘normal’?” Normal to me would mean--normal hearing, normal speech, and normal facial structures… You see I was born with a syndrome named Treacher Collins.
A syndrome I knew nothing about until we were expecting our first child.

I grew up knowing I was different--somewhat like my father, yet not quite the same. I had my rationalizations for why one ear was smaller--”I slept on it too much as a baby..” As for my voice--”one day I’ll have surgery and it will all be fixed.” And with child-like faith, I would go to bed at night, saying my prayer that when I woke up, I would be healed. There was no doubt in my mind that the day would come and I would be restored to my ‘rightful’ body. After all, somehow, I knew that I was beautiful. I would be a model. There was a stage with my name on it--and didn’t everyone want to hear me sing. So there it went, the voice of God whispering my name, I was loved, and was born for something. I wasn’t sure what, but I knew it was big.

Today, I have five children. Two of whom were born with an even more severe expression of treacher collins syndrome than mine. With a fair warning, that only the Holy Spirit could give, I prayed with all my might during labor with Michaela for strength in whatever lay before me. She turned purple in my arms as the nurse whisked her away to PICU for oxygen and to be monitored. She was trached only a few days later, the Friday after Thanksgiving. To say it was a trying time, would be an understatement. It was stressful, guilt ridden and full of worry. Somehow, God pulled us through, and showered us with other material possessions to make the time easier. We had been living as a family of five without a car--now six, with so many medical appointments and special equipment to cart around, the Lord saw to it, that we had proper transportation. People were placed into our lives, doctors, social workers, nurses, and therapists. Many of whom became friends. As I look back, I can see the grace of God leading us through the maze of trials, troubles and time of new challenges.

Wyatt came along 14 months later. He is the angel/light and companion to Michaela. Wyatt, though, unexpected to us, was chosen and expected by God. I still have the little red playsuit with his name on it. Wyatt was at University Hospital receiving his trach, and other procedures to make his life easier, when a nurse presented me with a playsuit that her sister just happened to have gotten at the LandsEnd outlet store as a deal. When she heard a baby boy had arrived with the name “Wyatt” she gave it to us. For me this is a sign, that, despite his troubles, Wyatt was destined and planned for his stint here on earth.


There are moments when I wish, it could all go away. Moments, when I wonder, what we would be if there were not the physical difficulties we experience. Just this morning, Wyatt asked me. “If God made me, why would he make me have problems?”
Good rationale. How could a God who is so perfect in every way, make me--not perfect?
So, I told Wyatt, that we are born into a ‘not perfect’ world, and that problems are a part of this world. I told him, that God would use his problems for His own purpose .I also told him that his gifts are special and that God had great plans for him. Most of all, I told him that someday, he would live with God and he would be perfect in every way. This excited Wyatt most of all. “You mean, I’ll have new eyeballs, and I’ll hear and not have any holes in my stomach!?” I nodded, yes, and he ran off with great excitement.

My life is far from perfect. I have troubles, but better than that, I have good times too. There are miracles which are so much more meaningful than if I looked like a movie star or had perfect hearing and speech. He gives me the opportunity to rely more closely on him. Sure, I have an ego, and get cocky about the things I can do. But these imperfections of mine, keep my life in check. When the speech I give at toastmasters moves people, when I win 1st prize in an area humorous speech contest, or am invited to tell my story, I have to chalk it up to a wonderful, awesome God who leads me on.

Would I trade it in? Oh, its tempting…, but, nope, because someday….as I told Wyatt, I will have my rightful body. For now, I am His servant. And, you know what? It is a wonderful life.

View my website: www.justcarmela.com

A Fine Line To Walk

Perusing the many news reels on Japan's Earthquake and Tsunami, this quote struck me.

"I never imagined we would be in such a situation," Watanabe said. "I had a good life before. Now we have nothing."

There is despair in these words and I cannot begin to imagine the feelings which are behind it, for I have never experienced the depth of what these individuals are going through right now. At the risk of sounding contrite, it reminds me that things of this earth are temporal. We cannot depend upon, nor put sole value in the work that brings about a good, solid life.

It strikes me because I've been striving as of late towards goals of achievement and success. These are not bad in and of themselves, but it is easy to become so focused on these that we lose sight of the One who turns the earth on its axis. As our finger finds the pulse of success, it is easy to be mislead into thinking that it is us that keeps the blood flowing into the power of that pulse. It is easy to take our eyes off of the life source and focus it on the pulsing rhythm of our daily life. We forget that we are building for a kingdom beyond these earthly shores. We forget that the jewels in the crown come from sacrifice, loving actions, and sharing the grace of God--not from surpassing the monthly quota, being published in a major magazine, or noted in a medical journal. All of these shall pass away.

Oh, what a fine line to walk: to be here on earth, enjoy it's riches and yet build for a kingdom which we have not yet seen. For at any given moment, these things of earth can be destroyed.
In what then, can we hope, if we lose all we have worked so hard for?

I pray today: O' Lord help me to shake loose of the temporal which blinds my focus. Let me not lose sight of that which is eternal.

Scripture: Matthew 7:13-14 "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Standing for Our Purpose

Okay, so I admit it. I often play Bible Roulette during my devotion time.

I was at it this morning --sitting in my rocker, coffee at my side, unsure of where to start. I flipped the book open and there I read the headliner " The Crucifixion". And, yes..my heart sank -just a bit. After all, I know the crucifixion story. I know Jesus suffered and died so that I may have everlasting life. I know they beat him. I know they mocked him. I know they were merciless.

Surely this wasn't the reading for me today. Yet, something in me persisted, so I read on.

The Soldiers Mock Jesus

...gathered the whole company of soldiers around him....stripped him....twisted a crown of thorns for his head...put a staff in his hand and mocked him.....spit on him...struck him...and then led him away to be crucified.

I was moved...and in my journal these are the words which came:

Jesus has compassion for those who are mocked, taunted and bullied because they are set apart.

Today I pray for those who feel isolated,
--set apart--
--lonely for who they are--
--what they represent--
--for being different.

The truth is that each one of us is different.
We are all set apart for works that God has created us to do.

Jesus could have let it go--backtracked, acquiesced, and given into the demands of the crowd.
He could have made adjustments to fit in and be their 'immediate hero', but he held onto his principles. He did not become distracted by a need to be liked or fit in. He stuck it out and finished what he was called to do.

What about me? What about you? Are we willing to hold onto our integrity and do what we know is our purpose?--the right thing?

Can we look beyond how the world sees us and stand firm in the purpose God has for us even when it makes us uncomfortable?

Trusting...beyond the Comfort Zone

I lay awake in the dark of night. My sinuses are clogged as I readjust my pillow so that the angle of my head makes room for air to sneak through my nostrils. If that were not bad enough my mouth is as dry as the arid desert from keeping it open to breathe. I am frustrated, angry and tired.

It occurs to me that I should use the rest room. Yet outside the comfort of my warm bed is the cold wooden floor. If I get up, I can relieve myself, provide moisture to the arid dryness which permeates my mouth and perhaps allow the stuffiness to shift in my sinus cavity. The question is....will I leave my bed? If I leave my bed, will it make any difference? In this moment, I know there is relief if I get up, yet...the comfort of my husband's warm body beside me and the coziness of blankets make it hard to move beyond the physical ease to what I know I must do in order to relieve the other discomforts.

In this moment I wonder how often I become stuck because I do not want to leave the known, the status quo or the familiar. Recently while reading of women who overcame great odds, they both mention moments in which leaving comfort or not having comfort as the option is what moved them beyond their situations.

The first was Liz Murray who wrote- From Homeless to Harvard. At a certain point she ponders the thought that had she not been 'uncomfortable' in her sleeping situations would she have gotten herself to school each morning to finish up her high school education?

The second was Ingrid Betancourt of 'Even Silence Has an End'. She writes of her six years in captivity in the Columbian Jungle. During one of her attempts at escape she briefly ponders leaving the dry 'comfort' of her 'cage' in order to face the rains and cold of the jungle with no guarantee of freedom.

My musings over getting out of a warm bed to relieve my minor discomforts pale in comparison to these two women, but it drives home a point to me. At any point in our lives in order to move beyond what we know, in order to grow to the greatness God has planned for us, in order to claim the power he has for us, we must move beyond our comfort zone. There is just no way around it.

Peter made the first step out of the boat to find that with faith, he could walk on water.

The loaves and the fishes had to be brought forth to show that thousands could be fed.

Noah needed to build the ark so that God could show his power and save his people.

Abraham needed to bring forth his son Isaac so that God could provide the ram in the thicket.

In our lives.....

*A word needs to be written on a blank sheet of paper.

*A bid needs to be made on the house.

*Business card needs to be ordered and passed out.

*An invitation needs to be given.

.....so that the power of God will be manifested.

Read Matthew 14:22-23. Peter walks on water.