Wednesday, December 3, 2014

"Guided"

My dad's going to be 90 this coming week.  Yes, 90.  And, you know how people say their kid is 5 going on 30?  Well my dad is 90 going on 30.  Or, so he'd like to think.  Atrial Fib, CHF and 4th stage kidney disease aside, to hear my dad talk he's healthy as a horse-- aside from this darn back that won't straighten, pressure when he walks and a few aches here and there.

Yet, he wants to drive. He won the vehicular 'lottery' in VA and his new driver's license is good for 6 years.  He does concede it may be his last driver's license, but he intends to drive every minute that he can.  It leaves me nervous and unsure of my role as his daughter. 

Planning to move 'south' for the winter to escape another long Chicago deep freeze he didn't renew his plates, nor winterize his vehicle.  Now two months later he is asking me and my sister to get everything in place for his return home.  Never mind that the winter he sought to escape has barely started, but homesickness has won out over the balmier temps of the southeast.

So now, as much as I want to 'honor' my father and be the dutiful daughter I have been for much of my life, I am faced with the dilemma of doing what is 'best' for all involved while already spinning plates, juggling balls and keeping my eye on the prize.

Seriously conflicted, I did what I usually do-- cry out to God.  "HELP!!"   or "Take this away...I just don't want to deal with this."  Yep, that is just about how this morning went, in the car-- between verses of praise and the hysteria of 'why me!?'   

As the Holy Spirit calmed me, I recalled the verse about trusting even when we don't know what's going to happen next.  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight."
 "Ok, Lord," I said, " I'm trusting you to guide me through this."
At that moment a small aqua colored vehicle switched lanes in front of me. 
The plates read, "GUIDED".   I smiled, as the Lord basically said.  "Consider it done."

No comments: