Trusting...beyond the Comfort Zone

I lay awake in the dark of night. My sinuses are clogged as I readjust my pillow so that the angle of my head makes room for air to sneak through my nostrils. If that were not bad enough my mouth is as dry as the arid desert from keeping it open to breathe. I am frustrated, angry and tired.

It occurs to me that I should use the rest room. Yet outside the comfort of my warm bed is the cold wooden floor. If I get up, I can relieve myself, provide moisture to the arid dryness which permeates my mouth and perhaps allow the stuffiness to shift in my sinus cavity. The question is....will I leave my bed? If I leave my bed, will it make any difference? In this moment, I know there is relief if I get up, yet...the comfort of my husband's warm body beside me and the coziness of blankets make it hard to move beyond the physical ease to what I know I must do in order to relieve the other discomforts.

In this moment I wonder how often I become stuck because I do not want to leave the known, the status quo or the familiar. Recently while reading of women who overcame great odds, they both mention moments in which leaving comfort or not having comfort as the option is what moved them beyond their situations.

The first was Liz Murray who wrote- From Homeless to Harvard. At a certain point she ponders the thought that had she not been 'uncomfortable' in her sleeping situations would she have gotten herself to school each morning to finish up her high school education?

The second was Ingrid Betancourt of 'Even Silence Has an End'. She writes of her six years in captivity in the Columbian Jungle. During one of her attempts at escape she briefly ponders leaving the dry 'comfort' of her 'cage' in order to face the rains and cold of the jungle with no guarantee of freedom.

My musings over getting out of a warm bed to relieve my minor discomforts pale in comparison to these two women, but it drives home a point to me. At any point in our lives in order to move beyond what we know, in order to grow to the greatness God has planned for us, in order to claim the power he has for us, we must move beyond our comfort zone. There is just no way around it.

Peter made the first step out of the boat to find that with faith, he could walk on water.

The loaves and the fishes had to be brought forth to show that thousands could be fed.

Noah needed to build the ark so that God could show his power and save his people.

Abraham needed to bring forth his son Isaac so that God could provide the ram in the thicket.

In our lives.....

*A word needs to be written on a blank sheet of paper.

*A bid needs to be made on the house.

*Business card needs to be ordered and passed out.

*An invitation needs to be given.

.....so that the power of God will be manifested.

Read Matthew 14:22-23. Peter walks on water.

Broken

Sometimes I delve into the closet called guilt and rummage around.
I pull out the mistakes I've made...the slow steady choices which at times seemed the only way to go. Now I weep at the culminated guilt which seems to me to spell out --RUINS--like the leftovers of a civilization gone wrong. (As dramatic as it sounds) I turn to you Lord, and ask, "how can I reconcile it?" "How can I replace it and make it all turn out well?"

I turn on the faucet labeled 'resolve' I do this in order to 'fix', 'make up for' and 'cleanse' my sin. Yet all that chokes out are particles of rust, soot and dirt. I know, Lord, that only you can turn the main valve which will pour out the cleansing water. I sit here at the spigot and wait. I wait for your living water to show me the channel to take. I want to climb aboard your boat and have you say to the storm--"Be Still."

The one thing I know that comes from my pain is the compassion and understanding of how this world and circumstances can lead to paths one would never think to take. It helps me to realize that things aren't always as simple as they seem. There is no cut and dried. "Follow this way" and the sum of your experiences will add to this equation.

The only thing that is true is you at the center of the cross. You are the central source for all we want and need. Yet, somehow we become distracted and get off course.

But let me clarify--I do not believe that in following you there is perfection in life or that there will be the 'Midas' touch but rather in our brokenness--and we all have it in some form or another--you are the safe port in which we can rest. For it is in our pain we see our short comings. In our imperfections we need you all the more. In our sorrow we cling to the hope and eventually we learn to sight the manifestations of your grace on a daily basis.

It seems, though, that sometimes on this earth it takes the sorrow to remind us to look heavenward and have greater compassion for the brokenness not only in others but in ourselves as well .

Mint Meltaway Miracle

Have you ever gotten a gift--so unexpected from your beloved that it nearly took your breath away?

Today, I received such a gift. So sweet, thoughtful, and completely unexpected that my eyes filled with tears.

It was like this. I went into Walgreens with my -learner permit, always ready for a drive- daughter to buy sidewalk chalk for the youngest two of the household. Before we went in, I announced to my daughter that I would get us a package of Fanny May Mint Meltaways to share. My husband can attest that these are one of my favorite candies. Sidewalk chalk in hand we headed for the candy aisle. I confidently reached into the box which would hold the Mint- Melt-Aways. All I felt was empty space. I picked it up, turned it upside down and nada. There was not even a crumb! I checked the Trinidad box next to it and all it contained were two packages of Trinidad chocolates. I sighed. I peered over the top of the shelf and there were no lone packages of Mint-Melt-Away chocolates. Out of luck. No other candy would do. Oh, well.

Yet on my way out, I made a last ditch effort as I asked one of the stock boys to see if there was another box of my 'fave' candy in the back. He went down the Easter specialty aisle and we followed to a point--realizing we couldn't go into the back. We chatted up the variety of Easter candy available for sale until he came back and noted that there was no box of Mint-Melt-Aways in stock.

And then the oddest thing, I glanced up and there on the shelf--right next to the Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs were two packages of Fannie Mae Mint Melt-Aways. A whole aisle over from where the original box was--in the Easter Candy aisle--my absolute favorite chocolate mint, melt in your mouth delicious treat--just for us! I scooped them up in absolute, surreal disbelief and excitement. For in my heart I knew it was a gift from my beloved. The creator of all things. My Lord, My God and Savior who would care enough to give me a token of his love.

When the cashier asked how my day was going...all I could choke out, was "better than I could have hoped for."


Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Daily 10

While using the treadmill this evening at the Y, I lamented over how I had become a ping pong in the game of life. I flit here. I whiizzz to the sound of that crisis. I react to the voice on my left, and run from the fear of failure. Somehow, that doesn't seem right, when God has a big purpose for my life. In fact, I hope it's no surprise to you, but he has a big purpose for yours as well.

As I continued on with my slow jog/fast walk, I came up with a small goal. I will do at least two miles a day. Sure, I can fit that into my hectic schedule--just 26 minutes out of my 24 hour a day life. I thought a bit more--after all, I was going nowhere fast. I could come up with a list from one to ten. Yeah! A daily ten list. I liked the sound of it. I could come up with a new daily ten for each month. After all, I get bored easily.


10. Throw out or give away 10 things per day.
9. Spend 9 undivided attention minutes with each of my 5 kids.
(They are teenagers and can only take so much of me.)
8. Give away 8 compliments/words of encouragement.
7. Pray for 7 people and their needs.
6. Sing 6 Praise songs out loud.
5. Eat five servings fruits and veggies.
4. Drink 4 eight oz glasses of water.
3. Write 3 pages.
2. Walk/jog 2 miles.
1. Commit to memory 1 scripture verse per day.

Today's Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear or timidity but of
power, love and self-discipline.

By following the daily 10, I will be given to self-discipline, and I will seek to live my life in love and seek out the power of God.

So what about you? What are your daily ten? I'd love to hear them!