Fill in the blank...Go ahead, I DARE you!

Be truthful...we've all said " I am not _______(strong, talented, young, old or good) enough." at one time or another.

David did not think he was strong or big enough.
Moses did not think he was leader enough.
Sarah and Abraham did not think they were young enough.
Mary Magdalene did not think she was good enough.

But we learn along the way, that when God is involved we are enough. In my own life I was born with a syndrome called Treacher Collins, and for much of my life, I would wonder if I was enough. With treacher collins syndrome, I was born with hearing loss and a cleft palate. A hearing aid corrected my hearing to an extent, and surgery closed up my palate. However, my facial depressions--especially around the cheek bone area remain. So, I don't look or talk like your average person. Some people notice more than others.

I've carried on and God has given me a wonderful life. But doubt does sometimes creep in.
I love to sing, and I have been told I have a nice voice. Yet, when I was in the 6th grade and a new member of a choral group named the 'songsters', a friend and I were on the playground. We were speaking to a boy in our class and telling him that we had both made it into the music group. The boy seemed shocked and said to me, "Sing..?! You can't even talk." This filled me with some self-doubt. It made me wonder how others perceived me. It made me wonder if I would be enough to pursue my love of song and performing for others.

As time goes on, I see God opening the doors to share my story. It involves getting up in front of others and trusting that with God at my side, I am enough.

I especially love to sing the chorus of two songs: "Here I Am Lord" and "On Eagles Wings"
When you put them together,

Here I am Lord. Is it I Lord? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go Lord if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart.

And he will raise you up on eagle's wings, Bare you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun, and hold you in the palm of his hand.

it is a complete equation. 1. You step forward and give yourself to God. 2. He comes forth and raises you up on wings like eagles.

So, regardless of what you think, regardless of what you've been told, with God at your side, you are _________(fill in the blank) enough.

Even Moses was not indispensable.

About a week ago while out shopping for bins to store Christmas decorations,I was talking with my daughter about how I liked storage containers and organzing. She took a double take to see if she heard right, and then questioned me with a surprised-"You organized?" It took me back a bit. Believe it or not, I was once considered organized. Yet as I thought about my daughter's reaction, I couldn't exactly blame her. My current life flies at me so quickly, I, in no stretch of the imagination, would come across as organized.

At first I felt slightly wounded. What happened to that person I knew as organized? Upon deeper reflection, I began to realize that there were a few traits that I once counted as concrete in the foundation of who I was..that no longer stood. As I reflected further, it brought to mind the older adults that I work with and the fact, that they too have probably lost out on some of their traits that they found to be tried and true. Perhaps Mary had the best memory this side of every elephant in the zoo. Then one day a friend noted that she hasn't been remembering all the birthdays she once did. In fact, she may have forgotten a few altogether in the past year. Belinda has always been known for her singing voice, and now that her empheseyma has taken over, her voice doesn't hold the same melodic fervor it once did. Oscar could hit any ball out of the park. Now he sits on the sidelines and coaches his grandson on the fundamentals of baseball.

Its not easy, but all of us at one point in our lives need to relinquish the roles that God has assigned and move onto other roles. We need to remember that we are not the roles we play. Underneath it all, we are God's creation and destined to be where we are at each point along the road. St. Therese of Leisiux learned through her time as a cloistered nun and through her eventual illness..'as I become less and less, He comes to be more.'

Now more than a week after these musings, I opened my Bible up to the first chapter of Joshua and began reading: "After the death of Moses, the servant of the Lord, the Lord said the Joshua son of Nun, Moses'aide 'Moses my servant is dead. Now then you and all these people get ready to cross the Jordan river into the land I am about to give to them--the Israelites.'

It struck me...like a 'I could've had a V8 commercial'. We all have our roles to play, but time marches on, and God will use anyone to set his people free. It's humbling. It's not about me after all.

In this world, we all want to hold onto the adjectives and labels which make us important and worthwhile in society. It may be, best salesperson, great public speaker, writer, quickwitted, best chef, decorator etc... But when we hold onto these labels as our main identity, we put ourselves at risk at holding our own selves and talents up for idolatry. We soon become fearful of losing the talents that God gave us to share and to use "for such a time as this."

A dream, a new bike and his word

Psalm 119: 105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

Just before waking this morning I had a dream in which I was trying to pedal my bike. The bike looked fine, and didn't seem in disrepair, but I could not get the bike pedal to move forward no matter how hard I tried. Eventually my companion and I decided that it might be time for a new bike. This old one just wasn't working. I felt resistance to getting a new bike. I liked this old bike and other than the pedal not moving forward--it was just fine.

Eventually my sister Marguerite came over and had told me that she found some new bikes for us. She did not bring the bikes in for the visit, but she had in her hand warranties and manuals for us to read. That was about as far as the dream took me. When I awoke, the verse from Psalm 119 came to my mind. "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."

My interpretation is that --if the "bike" I have will not pedal anymore, I need to find a new vehicle or I will not move forward. My "pedal" is stuck. The manual and warranties that I need to possess are all in my Bible.

As confirmation, this mornings devotional from Streaming Faith Devotionals spoke about how we need to get into God's word and claim his promises to move forward in our lives.

What about you...is your 'pedal' stuck? Get into God's word and move forward!

The Ageless Soul

Psalm 62:1 My soul finds rest in God alone.

Recently as I stood in line behind a woman in the grocery store. I noted how shopping for one was markedly different than shopping for seven. I also noted that this woman was most likely in her 80s. She stood tall and straight, but I couldn't help but notice some of the affects of aging in her wrinkles, jowels, and slow actions. My mind quickly assessed that she was once young. I tried to picture a younger version of this now older woman. As I waited my turn, I mused over the fact that she was once a baby and that the same soul which resided in that infant body, is still the same soul which resides in this elderly body today. With faith in an everlasting life in Christ...this same soul will live out eternity with God. I find this mind boggling.

Turn this over in your brain and read Psalm 139--especially verses 13-18. It makes you realize that your soul is infinitely connected to your creator. Wow!