Saturday morning--9:07am and I've been without a working hearing aid since about 3:10 yesterday afternoon. Just like that--kaput. The natural hum of air conditioners, overhead lights and the ticking of clocks were erased from my world. Voices became muffled and I had to fall back on lip reading and body language.
Funny how when your outside world begins to disappear, your inner world of introspection ramps up a volume all its own.
With faith that my H.A. will move into full operation SOON--(do you detect my mounting impatience) I anticipate the epiphany that comes when the power suddenly returns after a period of silence and darkness.
Now, I can revel in this loss for a short spurt but when it goes on...and on...I have to reach inside for a resilience and acceptance so as not to add to my frustration.
I am grateful for the women at Subway last evening whose naturally booming, resonant voice made it easier to hear as I stop to pick up Friday night's Fast Food Frenzy for a family of seven.
I am grateful for my husband whose voice also carries and makes conversation easy and still possible--and for the cacophony of voices coming from my children which make me feel at home.
My eldest daughter, Everett joked that I'm now down 3 of my senses-smell.(check out my post Epiphanies of the Olfactory Sort), diminished sense of taste, and now--even more so, my hearing. I now have to kick into high gear...sight and touch. And for those of us with sixth sense...I rely more deeply on the connection of the divine with my soul.
With some pride, I note, how incredible it was that I went through the first half of my kindergarten year without the help of a hearing aid. More remarkable yet, was that my kindergarten teacher did not notice and was amazed that I did so well. Children are very adaptable and can often make up for that which they do not have. Please note the success of many children who are missing some body part or other from birth.
Yet, it is always more difficult to adjust to loss of what you know than to cope with what has been missing all along.
So, now here I am in my 40's. I realize what a great life I've had and how much I take for granted.
*A family who loves me unconditionally.
*A husband--true, faithful and steady.
*A job/career which for 15 years has provided a bi-weekly paycheck without fail--not to
mention great friends and co-workers who are ever true.
*The key to a house, which door has stood open to me on the same street and neighborhood
for over 11 years.
*A God, personal Savior and friend who will be steadfast forevermore.
As I experience these inconvenient losses--even for short periods--it is a great reminder that all of this shall pass away. It is a gift that I can be reminded to store up for myself treasures in heaven which will not rust nor perish. For one day I will have a new body--one that will not falter, a room in my Father's house, no tears and no pain. I will sing of his love forever.
For now I am grateful that I will always hear my Father's voice-hearing aid or not.
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