Making a Life

It is said that we make a life not by what we get, but rather by what we give. This past weekend, I participated in the celebration of the life of my cousin, Mary. By definition she lived a palmarian life. (palmary is defined as outstanding or best.) Separated- it is pal and mary. In so many ways Mary was a pal to me who gave the gift of fun, laughter and joyful abandon.

Over the weekend, I had many opportunities to reflect on her life and it's relation to the lives we all live. In making a life it is good to be focused on where you are and what you are good at. I tend to flit from one opportunity to another. You've heard the phrase-'jack of all trades and master of none.' People who have focused like Mother Theresa or Billy Graham have indeed accomplished great things. Mary was good at being where she was in the moment. Even though she spent the last few years in a nursing home, she was totally present to the staff and other residents. So much so that they all benefited from her caring and compassionate personality. She didn't wish to be somewhere else, or nag or complain. She made life better for others.

While you are making a life you will be interrupted. And sometimes, it is these interruptions that make the best life experiences. Mary's life was interrupted when she needed to go to a nursing home, and yet...it became her life's work. She touched so many lives. Truly she bore fruit of the spirit. My life was interrupted when she passed on, and yet...being with family and celebrating her life will be a very meaningful memory--sad as it is.

Each life is individual. There is no other life like it. Recently I saw a sign which said, "Be Yourself....everyone else is taken." So often we look to others and the qualities we admire and think that we could have a better life if we too had those qualities. Mary was an outgoing, social person who had a way of making everyone feel special. As I perused her scrapbook, I could see that she was not a scholar, but she was a people person. Her dance card was full! I must admit as I looked at all her pictures, the joy she spread and her ease at being with others...I made such statements to myself like..."I want to be more like Mary." Yet, I realize...no one will be like Mary, but Mary. I am priviledged to love her.

Finally- it is important to live life with gratitude and be connected with our creator. I am thankful for my wonderful family who taught me the value of sharing, being there for one another, laughter and play and most importantly unconditional love.

I look to my creator and thank him for the opportunity to live such a beautifully connected life.

I especially thank him for my family and the chance through family to be a part of Mary's life.

It is full....very full.